Attorney Michael de Broglio on: South Africa, Law, Politics, Attorneys, Sport, Photography, Technology, Gadgets, Media, Crime, Road Accidents Fund,
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I was delighted when the caning of children at school was ruled unconstitutional. I was refused a testimonial by my school, Capricorn High in Polokwane, because I refused, on the second last day of Matric, to be caned by the principal. I am not sure though if the government’s latest idea is going to fly – and that is to ban the spanking of all children by their parents.
There is no doubt that corporal punishment is really not the ideal way to achieve results, but one cannot help but feel that there are certain stages when smaller children do need a small smack, even if that smack is not about being sore at all, but about indicating to the child that they are wrong. I appreciate that there are many ways to tell a child that he or she is wrong, but they laugh off many other efforts. The Social Development Minister said that our Constitution guarantees the rights of all people to freedom from all forms of violence, torture and cruel inhumane and degrading treatment or punishment and on that basis they intend introducing legislation to stop children being smacked. It will be interesting to see if a light smack will be defined as a form of violence, but that does seem to be the implication at the moment. Is this a good idea?
Posted by Michael de Broglio on Thursday 19-Jun-14
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Comments
Henrietta said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 04:46 PM
I also had my fair share of hidings and I will also discipline my child my way. A smack on the bum is not abusing a child, it's in my eye a form of discipline and I approve only if its done properly though. I mean there is a deference in abusing and discipline and i think that's were some parent are wrong. I also think teachers should know the signs of abused children and those just seeking the attention. In a way I'll say I'm against teachers hitting the kids at school, they have favorite like every work place and might just believe them whether they lying or not. I don't know this is a kinda tough subject but like a said if smacking your kid for discipline and not for the fun of it, I am all for the discipline.
Nicky said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 04:14 PM
I don't think that the government should legislate on smacking children-how will they regulate it?
Before I became a mother I also said that I'd give my child a hiding for misbehaving. I tried it a few times with my daughter and she ended up laughing. She actually responds better when I speak to her firmly, so I don't give her a hiding anymore.
I don't also think that one can definitely say a hiding does help with discipline or that it does not help with discipline because there are too many factors to take into account.
One of the factors is whether the parent is fit to give a hiding and the reason that the parent is giving the child a hiding-if its out of anger or frustration(whether due to the child's behaviour or other unrelated factors) then it's not right or effective because I believe that this is the kind of "hiding" that results n a beating.
Another factor is how does the child respond to the hiding if it has no effect then it does not serve a purpose. When we were younger my sister and I received hidings and my brother did not and eventually I was indifferent to getting a hiding. Neither my sister and I (who received hidings) nor my brother(who did not receive hidings) turned out to be brats and that's due due to my parents good parenting skills not due to getting a hiding or not getting a hiding. When I was a child the most effective punishment for me was when we had to write an essay to my parents regardijng what we did wring; why we did it and what our punishment should be. I suppose hidings helped too but the essays were the most effective.
So hidings should not be used as the yardstick for discipline-it works for some and not for others.
salomie said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 03:05 PM
I have to say I am in full support of children being disciplined with a hiding. Children needs to learn respect and right from wrong and sometimes hidings is all that work. There is a big difference between abuse and a hiding and the two should not be confused
Cornelie said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 10:30 AM
Me and my brother were smacked when we were little and we are fine today. I will also give my children a small smack but beating up is another story, when I read the news my hair just raise when I see parents beat their children. And I agree with Safia maybe to the age of 8 give them hidings, yes there is no point in smacking them after that, by that time they should have listen.
Jessica said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 09:13 AM
I must agree, I remember my son throwing such a bad temper tantrum in the mall, that I had someone come up to me and gave me money to buy him an ice cream to try calm him down. I tried everything to calm him down, so a small hiding never hurt anyone. I have had plenty and it teaches kids better. I will however not ever dare beat my son, no normal person does such terrible things like that. People that do that should be locked up and never let out. So good for the government.
Helen said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 09:12 AM
I actually do not remember if I was getting hidings when I was little, my mom and dad always believed to communicate with child in the friendly way rather take away things from me I liked then give smack but sometimes my ears were red from my grandpa hands. When there are lots of LOVE in the house and peace I believe kids will behave the same way, our kids are the mirror of us and they repeat and learn from us things we do in life. But I do agree there is a difference between little smack and abuse of children. If there is discipline and rules in place - there will be always good behaviour.
Lucretia said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 08:50 AM
There is nothing wrong with smacking a child. Talk once, warn the second time and then smack the third. My daughter got hidings when she deserved same and she has turned out a very very well rounded young lady. Homes where there is a lot of love, will not have their children running to the courts if a hiding is dished out. I come from a family of 5 children, we had plenty hidings and never once thought we were being abused why, because we knew when we were deserving of same. The rest of the time, there was oodles of love going around. Look at the state of our schools since they did away with discipline, leaves much to be desired.
Jade said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 08:21 AM
I think we can all appreciate the difference between a light smack and child abuse. I was also smacked as a child if I was wrong, and like Kaylee, I didn't need to be smacked too often to get the message. I really think it is necessary.
As an aside, even though corporal punishment in schools is illegal now, it continues in a few well known boys schools. A friend of mine was caned a few times at school by his Matric prefects as a form of initiation but mostly by teachers who gave them the option of corporal punishment or a disciplinary letter to their parents. I think that is crazy. This just goes to show, it does't matter how involved the government gets by imposing legislation to stop parents smacking their children etc. it is largely unenforceable.
Thabitha said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 07:59 AM
It is not a good idea at all small kids do need some smacking to get to their attention.
sarah said:
on Friday 20-Jun-14 07:09 AM
Children need a smack now and the. My parents only spoke 3 times fourth time you know what is coming next.
Stephanie said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 03:26 PM
For me, not smacking is rather like learning a second language: when my daughter started to get into things that were unsafe I was at a loss. I wondered, should I smack her? I couldn't bring myself to smack this beautiful little person who to me seemed to be exploring rather than naughty but I simply had no other resources in my parenting toolbox, because this is what I had been exposed to as a child. This realization led me to parenting courses where I learned alternatives like understanding my childs development so my expectations were more in sync with her abilities and how to implement positive discipline. I also sought out support groups where I saw gentle parenting modeled and I could discuss strategies with other parents.
Juliet said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 02:58 PM
Wow this is a popular topic given the elaborate comments. I have never been smacked before and I was an angel child (YES I was!) and I consider myself a law-abiding citizen that isn't reckless so for me I do not see the point of smacking. I was just speaking about this with my friend the other day and 2 things we have noticed which have become completely absent from public are breast feeding and smacking of children. I remember seeing these when I was younger but nowadays you just never see these in public anymore. I think this law is just to try reduce child abuse but no one can really protect the children look at that couple who broke their 6-week old child's left knee and gave him severe brain damage. But I do believe some children are naughtier than others but it is a cycle? Why are they naughtier? Genetics? Social? Family life? So the dad hits the mom, then the brother hits the sister, then the dad hits the brother for hitting the sister so the mom intervenes and the dad hits the mom again. I personally do not tolerate any type of physical pain and did not speak to my best friend in high school for 2 years after she hit me on the bum at a party one weekend. I think you should have respect for other peoples' bodies and you are not allowed to touch them unless they give you permission. That is how I will bring up my children.
Sheena said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 01:48 PM
Children will always take chances an be naughty. I believe in giving your child a hiding when necessary. It nobody's responsibility except your own to teach you child manners and most times talking nicely and punishing them does not work. To me there is nothing worse than a child with no manners. I don't think the government has a right to tell one how to raise your child. As everyone has said there is a big difference between smacking your child and abusing you child.
Cindy said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 01:39 PM
I think a hiding is the best way to discipline a child. As a child my parents warned me once to not do something and then if I still did it then a good hiding is what I got and I do the same to my child. But like everyone is saying, there is a fine line between a hiding and abusing.
Sorea said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:58 PM
I received many hidings when I was younger (obviously I was a bit of a stubborn child), and I believe I deserved every single one of them. Unfortunately, small children don't quite understand vocalizing "no, don't do that" quite as early as you need to instill discipline and good manners. Therefore, you need an alternative form of "punishment". And mostly the hidings are on a bum covered by a nappy, which takes most of the feeling out of it, and leaves the noise. It is a necessity at a time before children fully understands verbal admonitions and, really, things such as "time-outs".
I must stress that there is a HUGE difference between a "hiding" and physically abusing your children. No abuse will ever be okay.
Jolene said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:55 PM
I dont mind if someone gives their child a smack every now and then when the child is really naughty, but people dont know where to draw the line! If I have kids one day I dont think I will have the heart to give them a smack. I believe there are other ways to teach a child right from wrong. I definitely think its a good idea as it will stop parents from abusing their children and trying to use discipline as a defence.
Safia said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:50 PM
I have never been smacked once in my life but now having children myself, i find it difficult to imagine bringing up children without being smacked,if they are cheeky to their parents. children need to learn respect and when they are small, the smack can put them back into place.but after the age of 7-8 smacking makes no sense, there has to be other ways of disciplining the child, like taking away benefits and cancelling playdate or not giving a lift as a punishment. i think it would be a stupid law and will achieve nothing but breeding more brats .
Brumilde said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:45 PM
An Example I once saw a mother with a child standing at a still queue waiting to pay, the little one kept grabbing the sweets from the side and the only thing the mother did was take them a put them back, this then became a game which the little one was enjoying... clearly little smack on the bum or hand would have ended the amusement and taught a little lesson.
Lizanne said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:38 PM
I am also against child abuse but a child does need a good smack once in a while to teach them what is right and wrong. My Father gave me smacks when i was younger and i have the utmost respect for him. A child needs to be disciplined and i personally think that when a child did something wrong you cannot just put them on a chair in a corner and tell them to think about what they did wrong. What does that teach them? A lot of people I know disciplines their children like this and i can definitely see the difference between a child that is being smacked and a child that is being put in a corner to think about what they did wrong. The child that is being smacked will think twice before they do something.
Bianca Els said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:26 PM
The only way to get through to a child is with a smack or two on the bum, otherwise they are getting out of control. But again I am very against violence, like Kaylee said there is a fine line between a smack and a beating.
Monique said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:25 PM
I do no agree with corporate punishment. However, i believe that smacking a child when they have done something wrong is good. A child who is disciplined, turns out a lot better than one who was not. I know of family members of mine who dont believe in smacking children, and their kids are brats. They dont have respect and they do what they like. I as a child, used to get hidings, and i dont not love my parents for doing so, in fact, i appreciate how they raised me. I dont think the government will succeed.
Brenda said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:16 PM
Bend the tree while its young. I don't believe that this is a good idea to stop parents from smacking their children. Parents who discipline their children, and at a young age as well, will in all likelihood raise a well mannered, respectful child who will know the difference between wrong and right, rather than a child that does just as he pleases, with no respect, because there was no discipline in the home.
If we take this away children will just become more and more "big for their shoes" and we will head into serious trouble as children will start to lose respect for their parents' authority because they are getting away with everything.
I am against this and I really hope that this is not implemented EVER!
david said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:14 PM
in afrikaans they say " 'n pak op sy tyd, is soos brood on knofyt". I have given my son 2 hidings in his life - he has never needed more than that. he understands that i only speak once...
Bianca R said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:13 PM
I do believe that a child requires a smack one in a while. I was raised getting smacked when I could not behave etc and it is something that now I am extremely thankful for. My sister on the other hand did not receive many smacks and it something that you can pick up on, well at least I can. I do believe that a lot of people take smacking their child or children and teaching them a lesson to the extremes and they abuse it so I can understand why it is frowned upon. I do believe though that a smack is a sure way to know what is right and what is wrong. As a child there is nothing like that fear of a smack when you may be doing something wrong. I personally do not feel that it is the government's concern to tell its citizens how to raise their children and what medium to use to instill discipline. The children these days do not get smacked by their parents and unfortunately in most cases, you can see it.
Yolandi P said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:13 PM
I got proper hidings as a child and it installed great respect and reverence in me for authority. I am against abuse of children but a good proper hiding does wonders for a child. I have read a proposed study in the last few weeks that questioned if the removal of discipline from schools and homes is a contributing factor to the escalating violence we are seeing in schools. Perhaps the events that happened in the past were swept under the rug, but it does pose an interesting question to think about.
Melissa said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 12:08 PM
I agree, Children need to be smacked around if they do not follow the rules.
Kaylee said:
on Thursday 19-Jun-14 11:35 AM
I really think that children need a smack now and then when they are small to understand between right and wrong. I know this is a controversial topic and many people will argue with smacking children. But honestly, when I was a kid I only remember ever receiving one or two smacks and I learnt my lesson.
I am however totally against corporeal punishment, I remember my brother coming home a couple of times after a caning as he went to an all boys school. I recall thinking that it was brutal and not necessary.
I think there is a fine line between a small smack to show a lesson and a beating.
I probably also would have told the principal off.
Johannesburg based attorney specializing in personal injury matters including Road Accident Fund claims and medical negligence matters. My interests include golf, reading and the internet and the way it is constantly developing. I have a passion for life and a desire for less stress!
